A Closer Look At Kyler

Some people are easy to know... like my Carson, for instance. After only knowing him for one minute, you'd probably assume that he was bold, colorful, and fun... and you'd be right. Others, however, are not so easy to sum up. These unique people are so layered and complex that their personalities are really more like mysteries that require patient unfolding every day. Kyler is one of those people.

Kyler was born with an old soul. A quietness. An awareness of others. He is, without a doubt, my most submissive, sensitive, and responsible child. He's also the most trying, challenging, and needy. Where McKenna and Carson are happy-go-lucky, Kyler is a stark contrast--chronically disappointed. In one moment, he has me ripping out my hair... and in the next... wondering if I am teaching him or if he is teaching me. It's hard to explain, but the events of a recent morning illustrate this rare boy much better than my adjectives ever could.

A few mornings ago, Justin left very early to show a farm to an interested buyer. I was well aware of the events that would follow. I've seen it hundreds of times.... Immediately after waking, the kids would go down to our bedroom to cuddle with their Dad (as they always do) only to be startled to find him gone. Kenna and Carson would be disappointed, but they'd get over it quickly and continue on with our morning routine. Not Kyler.

As predicted, Kyler emerged from his room with his usual moody morning expression, ignored me, and headed straight for my bedroom in search of his Dad. (It's okay. I've come to terms with Justin holding the favorite parent position long ago. I really don't blame the kids... I like Justin better than me too.) Moments later, Kyler reappeared with that 'let down' face that I've come to know so very well. With a voice on the verge of tears, he said, "Where's Dad?"

"Oh, here we go," I thought. It was time for the unleashing of 'Kyler Drama,' and I really wasn't it the mood for it. I quickly said something to the effect of, "Look Kyler. Dad's showing a farm this morning. It's really important, and it's really GOOD. I need you to stop feeling sad for yourself, and instead, start feeling happy for our family. Got it?"

Kyler gave me the brattiest glare he could muster, rolled his eyes, and walked away. I was actually thankful that I got off that easy.

About ten minutes later, Kyler came into my bathroom so I could comb his hair for school. In a softer tone, I tried to smooth things over between us just a bit. "Kyler," I said, "Maybe you could say a little prayer for Dad today."

What Kyler said next stopped time for me. He looked up at me with his pure, honest face, and simply said, "I already have."

That simple reply describes Kyler perfectly. He is a boy who struggles with so many things, and yet always has his heart in the right place. Always.