Up Close & Personal

Live from the Stevens' computer room, we are here with the upcoming birthday boy himself, the ever charming CARSON LUKE STEVENS! Thanks for joining us today Carson! In less than four days, you will be leaving the magical age of four and moving on to the exciting age of five! Big things await you, Carson... bus rides, hall passes, girl cooties... we're dying to hear all about your take on life as boy who is soon turning five.

* Let's jump right to it! How do you think life will change as a 5 year old?

"Uh... I'll turn five."

* Wow... That was deep! Can you expound upon that?

"Me and my friend Noah will be the same. He's 5 and I'll be 5."

* Let's get to know you better. What are you good at?

"Beat boxing, sword fighting, soccer, baseball, kinda' good at reading, and video games!"

* Who's your favorite super hero?

"I have a lot. Can I tell you all of 'em? Batman, Robin, Superman, Iron Man, and The Hulk."

* If you could have any super hero power, which would you choose?

"Speed, lizard eyes.... Oh, and a arm that can lazor!"

* If you could be an animal, which would you be and why?

"A cheetah 'cuz they run very, very fast!"

* What do you want to be when you grow up?

"Buzz Light Year 'cuz he can fly... or maybe a pirate 'cuz they get to swing on ropes... Hmmm. I'll have to think about it."

* Okay. Enough of the small talk. Let's talk about feelings. What makes you angry?

"When Kyler says that I love Reagan."

* What makes you laugh?

"Funny jokes."

* What makes you cry?

"Well, sometimes when I don't want to try food, and I have to sit at the table all by myself, and I'm asking for a PB&J."

* What makes you feel loved?

"When people help me read, when people help me find things, and when people give me Valentines."

* What makes you scared?

"When McKenna and Kyler scare me which is so mean. Sometimes they go, "ROOOAARR!" Also, when I see skeletons, when people look like real vampires, and when it's dark at the front door... so I do Karate stuff."

* Name some things that you think are cool.

"My dad, Kyler, and this power ranger toy at preschool."

* If you got to meet President Monson, what would you say?

"Uh... I don't know. But I would ask VERY NICELY if I could shake his hand."

* Your transition from Nursery to Primary was a little rough. What do you think would make church better?

"We could like... do you know what... we could invite Noah to come, and we could bring our guns and fight!"

* We know you LOVE babysitters. Would you rather go to Disneyland for a week, or have Cortlyn babysit you for a week?

"Maybe one day I'll go to Disneyland and then the next day I'll stay home and she can babysit me."

* What is your birthday wish?

"An iron man costume, a spy watch, and that puppy that you wouldn't buy me at the store!"

* What are you looking forward to most about Kindergarten?

"Playtime."

* Yes, playtime... but aren't you looking forward to anything else?

"Nope."

An Afternoon With the "Bodies"

This past Monday, our family had quite the eye opening experience. We were introduced to ourselves... our INSIDE selves, that is! Our local museum is featuring the "Bodies"-a traveling exhibition that features cadavers, fetuses, and over 250 human organs.

Our kids were a little nervous about hanging out with dead people... I can't imagine why! Carson kept, saying, "What if when we're looking at them, their hearts start beating?!" Sounds exactly like a scene straight out of a horror movie, right? I have to admit that even I was very conscience of the the fact that these bodies were once living, breathing people as I toured the exhibit. I kept imagining their spirits watching us gawk at their innards. I wondered if they would be honored to be preserved for education... or utterly humiliated to be in the most naked form possible: Skinless.

I have seen pictures and drawings of body parts, but it was nothing like seeing it in the flesh! Here's a peak at a few of the superstars from the show:

The highlight of the tour for me came from a comment made by my sweet, naive daughter. While looking at the glass case containing the female reproductive system, I carefully said to Kenna, "Look. Those are the ovaries. That's where the eggs are." McKenna gasped and exclaimed, "We lay eggs!? I didn't know that!" Oh, I still laugh every time I think of her face in that moment! However, the funniest part probably came from my pathetic response. I said something like, "No! We don't lay eggs. We just have them, and they... ya know, they.... never mind." Those conversations are unchartered waters for me!

I have to say that though the show left me feeling slightly sick to my stomach, I am so thankful that I had this fascinating opportunity. I left feeling humbled by God's existence and power. In today's world, we marvel at the latest electronic gadget--when in reality, these complex machines don't hold a candle to the greatest machine of them all: Our Bodies. So many different organs and systems all working together.. and yet we never give a thought to this MIRACLE that is going on inside us all of the time! ... Can't you just hear Jack Handy saying, "Deep thoughts by JoLyn"?

Though we weren't allowed to photograph the bodies, here's our family in the Idaho History section of the museum.

Kenna... our actress.

Three little indians.

Don't let the binki fool you. Ash is much more of a kid than a baby these days.

My boys are somewhat obsessed with wolves. This is Carson's 'cool' pose.

"Ma"Kenna with her rough and tough brothers. We let the kids play in the kid's room forever. We wanted to get out money's worth... and I think we did! What a great, educational day!

The Diaper Ditcher

Let's face it. We're all human. Every single one of us has a bad habit, and the Stevens family is no exception.

Justin drinks directly from the sink faucet.

I use the same knife for the peanut butter and jelly.

McKenna forgets to flush.

Kyler enjoys flashing his sister.

And Carson can make himself vomit at the drop of a hat.

But none of these vices are as foul, nasty, and decrepit as the vice of our darling baby boy...

Ashton is a DIAPER DITCHER!

In the last few weeks, Ashton has figured out how to remove his clothing. He disappears and then reappears minutes later running euphorically naked around the house as he swings his diaper around his head. Sometimes he even flings his diaper at me as he runs by... Talk about rubbing it in my face! But here is the real problem... Our miniature streaker strips for one reason, and one reason only: TO POTTY!!!!

I can usually catch him before things get out of control, but every once in awhile... let's just say that things get 'messy'! Last Thursday was one of those days. It was literally a CRAPPY day. I was so beside myself at the poop mess that Ash created that my sweet Dad rented me an extractor from The Cleaning Center.

Trying to see the glass half full, Justin and I hoped that maybe Ashton was ready to be potty trained at a mere 21 months old. So, we lugged out our very cool singing potty chair in hopes for a miracle. Here's a look at our attempt...

Does this look familiar?

Remember this?

And this?!

When is this kid going to realize that a toilet is not a wading pool?

After the fun of playing inside it wore off, Ashton found more uses for this new, interesting toy. He filled it with milk.... one drip at a time.

Sorry for the risque photo, but this was just too funny!

By the end of the day, most of Ashton's belongings had had a personal tour of the potty chair. (I love sentences when you get to use the same word twice in a row!)

I think my dreams of being diaper free will have to wait for awhile... in the meantime I'm considering a temporary baby loaning operation. At no cost to you, you can borrow this adorable child. Yes, he smears poo in the carpet, but he does lots of charming things too... like wall murals and redecorating. Call if you're interested!

Hot 'N Cold

This is from a few months ago... McKenna performed in her school's lip sync assembly. She and her two cute, girlfriends are angry bridesmaids. (McKenna is the one on the right with the serious hip shake.) Kyler makes a quick cameo as the indecisive groom and cousin Jaden plays the Preacher. Look out for the totally radical "Robot Dancing" dance break...

More quotes from Carson

Carson was sitting on the toilet the other day and yelled for me to come wipe him. After I quickly did the job, he said:

Carson: "Is it shut?"

Me: "Huh? Is what shut?"

Carson: "My bum... Is it shut?!?"

One of the male contestants on American Idol has long, curly red hair. The family was watching the show, and when this contestant (Brett) came on screen, Carson says:

"I hate that girl! She's got a beard!"

There's a cartoon called "Ed, Edd, & Eddy" that we don't like the kids to watch because it's a little crude. I caught the kids watching it the other day, and Carson says:

"Sometimes we watch it, but we don't do drugs."

At Fiesta Ole, Justin says to Carson:

Justin: "Carson, stop dropping your tator tots in your cup of ketchup."

Carson: "I'm not dropping them, Dad! I'm just setting them in and letting go."

Just today, Carson was drawing on a piece a paper and proceeded to draw an impressively symmetrical heart. I say:

Me: "Wow Carson! How'd you learn how to draw a heart?"

Carson: "T.V. and Elmo. You kinda showed me.... but Elmo teached me better."

You've Got Mail

You know times are changing when you no longer get messy, handwritten notes and drawings from your kids.

You get emails!

I knew Kyler was up to something when he was secretly working forever in the computer room the other night. He had that look in his eyes when he is really excited about something. He kept yelling questions to me, but panicked if I came even remotely near the door. He needed to know my favorite color, how to spell dozens of words, and how to move the cursor down a line... This small note took him at least an hour to type. I assumed lots of things, but I wasn't expecting this:

To ThePRETTIEST girl in my family

Five things that i love about you

#1 you take care of us and help us when we are hurt or in danger

#2 you take us to do FUN things

#3 you teach us how to do hard TALENTS

#4 you help us do the things that help us

#5 and suport us in special times

I LOVE YOU

KYLER

Sweet, huh? I miss the stick figures, but I do appreciate the spell check! (Some of their notes can be pretty tough to decipher!) I took the liberty of sizing down the capitalized words. (They were about 300 times bigger!) I was particularly touched by #3--since Kyler HATES piano lessons right now! I was also touched by something else... Though Kyler is literally the reincarnation of his father, he has yet one of my traits... He makes lists! Even if it's just this once, I'll take it as evidence that he does have a Luke gene somewhere in his body.

Today, I was reminded that I love being a Mom. (I forget sometimes.)

"Tressed" For Success

When it takes wire cutters, fake birds, and sprayable super glue to get your kids ready for school, you know it can mean only one thing...

IT'S CRAZY HAIR DAY!!

If you know our family very well, you know that we like this day... a lot. Crazy Hair Day is right up there with Christmas and Easter.

For McKenna's annual 'do,' we pick a theme each year. We had this spectacular idea that we'd been planning for weeks, but the night before the big day, we stopped in Michaels to pick up one last supply... and that's when she saw them: Fake Birds. Amongst all the Easter/Spring stuff on display, a pillar of light shone upon them. And that was that. She was in love. Thus, our new theme, was born. We call her look: "SPRING FEVER!!"

One thing you should know about McKenna is that her middle name is 'Competitive.' If she's in it, she's in it to win it... even Crazy Hair Day. She's won the last three years, but when the door opened and slammed shut at 2:50 p.m. today, I knew it had happened.

She lost.

It wasn't a pretty sight. She's not what you would call a 'Good Sport.' And to make matters worse, she loss by one point to the one girl in her class that she loathes!! (Funny side note: When I asked Kenna why she didn't like this girl, she replied, "She laughs like a clown with a rat in her throat!!" Ok...) Anyway, losing is always a good learning experience... especially for Miss McKenna Lyn.

Kyler has a love/hate relationship with Crazy Hair Day... depending on his current mood. (Seriously, he's worse than a teenage girl.) For days, he insisted that he was NOT participating in Crazy Hair this year, but then at 9:00 p.m. the night before the big day, he was bawling that I hadn't bought anything for his hair!! That his how he ended up with his sister's tights on his head. Sometimes you gotta make do with what you have, ya know!? We call his look: "THE TIGHTY WHITEY!"

And... the last minute "Tighty Whitey" won him first place in his class! Being the sweet (and moody) soul that he is, he shared his candy winnings with his demoralized sister. With that single act of compassion, all was happy yet again in the Stevens home.
Though not yet a Rimrock Raptor, Carson was a rock star at preschool with his spiky, blue locks! We call his look: "THE AVATAR!" Look out up-coming Kindergartners! Carson's totally gonna rock Crazy Hair Day next year!
As for Ashton, he didn't get into the fun this year. He was slightly in shock at the sight of his bizarre looking siblings. But next year... he too will be getting CAH-RAZY!!

Happy Crazy Hair Day from the Stevens Family!

34 Days

34 Days.

That is the number of days since Kyler's Birthday party.

That is also the number of days that this purple balloon has been hanging out with my 2-story ceiling!

34 Days!!!

We've tried everything to get it down. ...Shooting it with Nerf bullets, throwing Ash's ball collection at it... we even put an extension on our central vacuum and tried sucking it down!

Us-0 Balloon-3

What is the moral of this story? Next time you buy a balloon bouquet at Zurcher's, DO NOT pay the extra .47 cents for 'High Float!'

P.S. The balloon mysteriously made it's way to Kyler's room this morning. He burst into our bedroom exclaiming, "I got it! It's finally down!" Thinking it was dying, he let go of it... and it floated all the way back up to it's original position! I'm starting to get scared of it now. Maybe 34 Days is just the beginning... tune in to see just how long this possessed balloon will torment the Stevens family.