I feel a little pang in my heart every time I drop my kids off at school. I can literally see them morph the second they leave the car and set foot on the school ground pavement. It usually happens sometime between second and third grade. Your carefree child who can make friends with anyone and has enough confidence to conquer anything... just changes. Every aspect of their life is suddenly overshadowed by the need to be accepted. The need for their peer's approval. The need to be "cool."
It happens to all of us, but it's a sad day nonetheless. I remember not wanting to wear a coat during the winter--because I felt "un-cool" in it. I remember pretending to find things funny in Junior High which were not. I remember trying to not act "too smart" in certain classes. I remember it all so clearly--which makes me want to save my kids from this curse even more! Some days, I want to grab my kids by the collar and shout:
"Why do you smile differently at school?"
"Why do you hesitate to blow a kiss back to me as you leave the car?"
"Why do you pretend to not be excited when you score a point?"
"Why are you pretending to be someone else?"
Why am I asking "Why?" I remember. I know why. It just still hurts to watch.
The funny thing about all of this is that there are a few people out there who truly don't care what others think of them. (Not many. Really, just a few!) Do you remember that person from high school? You know... the person who wasn't afraid to make a fool of themselves in a pep assembly. The person who could wear anything and get away with it because they didn't care.
They. Were. So. Cool.
How do we show our children this? How do we save them from the agony of caring so deeply about things that will never really matter?
2 comments:
That's a good thought -I actually think I'm one that doesn't care what others think, although that's only been the last couple years. Each child must just find this out for themselves, unfortunately. You just need to arm them with the knowledge that it's okay for them to be who they are and that true friends will accept them for that no matter what!
Oh, man...I can't even tell you how much I agree with everything you've said. I LOVE that Kamri is herself around McKenna! That means so much!!! We'll have to talk about it sometime...:)
Post a Comment